Sunday, December 01, 2002

 
Legally Blonde!

Enrique Salvator: Don't esstomp your little last season Prada shoes at me
Elle Woods: These aren't last season

Hairdresser: Oh my god, the Bend and Snap, works every time!


posted by gwe 12:13 PM

Sunday, October 13, 2002

 
DEATH TO SMOOCHY!!!

Sheldon: When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker.

Sheldon: So you see, kids, a stepfather is just like a new puppy. He needs love and care. Remember though, if your stepdad is EVER abusive towards YOU or MOMMY, what's the magic numbers?
Kids: 9-1-1!
Sheldon: Thaaaaaaat's right!

Randolph: What are you, blind? It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you sick fuck! It's a cock! Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! It's a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It's made from dil-dough.

Sheldon: I'll be in my office, the big one with a view!
Nora: They all have views, you dumb shit!
Sheldon: Not looking this way, cupcake!


posted by gwe 12:44 AM

Sunday, September 29, 2002

 
E.T.: E.T. phone home. (no ned to say what this is from)

posted by gwe 1:42 PM

 
Peter Banning: I'll bet you don't even have a fourth grade reading level.
Rufio: Hemorrhoidal suck naval!
Peter Banning: Or maybe a fifth grade reading level.
Rufio: Boil dripping beef fart bubble butt!
Peter Banning: Someone has a severe ka-ka mouth, you know that.
Rufio: You are fart factory. Cheesy, scab picking, pimple squeezing finger bandage! A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!
Peter Banning: Substitute chemistry teacher!
Rufio: Mung tongue!
Peter Banning: Math tutor.
Rufio: Pinhead.
Peter Banning: Fizzenbarber.
Rufio: Muttlelover.
Peter Banning: Near sited gynecologist.
Rufio: In your face, camel cake!
Peter Banning: In your rear, cow derriere! You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food.
(hook)
posted by gwe 1:41 PM

 
Dr. Alan Grant: Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this "six foot turkey" as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex, he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Velociraptor. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, from the other two 'raptors you didn't even know were there. Because Velociraptor's a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today. And he slashes at you with this... a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no no. He slashes at you here... or here... or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is... you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know... try to show a little respect. (jurassic Park, my favorite movie)
posted by gwe 1:39 PM

 
Narrator: Amélie still seeks solitude. She amuses herself with silly questions about the world below, such as "How many people are having an orgasm right now?"
Amélie: Fifteen!
(Amelie)
posted by gwe 1:34 PM

 
Justine: Your parents just called you Tom. I thought your name was Holden
Holden: It is. Tom is my slave name.
(the Good Girl)
posted by gwe 1:29 PM

 
Gretchen: We had to get away from my stepfather. He has emotional problems.
Donnie: Really? I have those too! What kind does your step dad have? (donnie darko)
posted by gwe 1:26 PM

 
Donnie: You are such a fuckass!
Elizabeth: Did you just call me a fuckass?! You can go suck a fuck!
Donnie: Oh, please, tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?!
(Donnie Darko)
posted by gwe 1:26 PM

 
Donnie: First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick? (Donnie Darko)
posted by gwe 1:25 PM

 
I'm sexy, I'm cute,/ I'm popular to boot,/ I'm bitch-in', great hair,/ The boys all love to stare,/ I'm wanted, I'm hot,/ I'm everything you're not,/ I'm pretty, I'm cool,/ I dominate the school,/ Who am I? Just guess,/ Guys wanna touch my chest,/ I'm rockin', I smile,/ If anything I'm vile,/ I'm flyin', I jump,/ You can look but/ Don't you hump,/ Whoo/ I'm major, I roar,/ I swear I'm not a whore,/ We cheer and we lead,/ We act like we're on speed,/ You hate us 'cause we're beautiful,/ Well we don't like you either,/ We're cheerleaders,/ We are cheerleaders,/ Roll call/ I'm Big Red,/ W-W-W-W-Whitney,/ C-C-C-C-Courtney,/
[Roar]
/ Dude this' Darcy,/ I'm big bad Carver,/ Yeah,/ And I'm Kasy.../ I'm still Big Red,/ I sizzle, I scorch,/ But now I pass the torch,/ The ballots are in,/ And one girl had to win,/ She's perky, she's fun,/ And now she's number one,/ K-K-Kick it Torrance,/ T-T-T-Torrance,/ I'm strong and I'm loud,/ I'm gonna make you proud,/ I'm T-T-T-Torrance,/ Your captain Torrance,/ Let's go crowd/ We are the Toros,/ The Mighty Might Toros,/ We're about to win it/ Just because/ (bring it on the beginning)
posted by gwe 1:22 PM

Wednesday, August 14, 2002

 
Jack Kelly: Well, dat's da foist thing ya gotta learn, headlines don't sell papes. Newsies sell papes. (Newsies)
posted by gwe 7:52 PM

 
Harlan Pepper: I used to be able to name every nut that there was. And it used to drive my mother crazy, because she used to say, "Harlan Pepper, if you don't stop naming nuts," and the joke was that we lived in Pine Nut, and I think that's what put it in my mind at that point. So she would hear me in the other room, and she'd just start yelling. I'd say, "Peanut. Hazelnut. Cashew nut. Macadamia nut." That was the one that would send her into going crazy. She'd say, "Would you stop naming nuts!" And Hubert used to be able to make the sound, he couldn't talk, but he'd go "rrrawr rrawr" and that sounded like Macadamia nut. Pine nut, which is a nut, but it's also the name of a town. Pistachio nut. Red pistachio nut. Natural, all natural white pistachio nut. (Best in Show)

posted by gwe 7:44 PM

 
Brenda: Shorty, what are you doing driving? I know you ain't got no papers.
Shorty: I got papers, blunts, blongs, blokes, anything to make a fine nigga pie!
(Scary Movie)
posted by gwe 7:41 PM

 
Rocco: Fuck you! What the fuckin' fuck! Who the fuck fucked this fucking ... How did you two fucker fucks ... FUCK!
Conner MacManus: He surely has a great diversity of words. (Boondock Saints)

posted by gwe 7:38 PM

 
Murphy MacManus: We're sorta like 7-11. We're not always doin' business, but we're always open.
Conner MacManus: That was nicely put. (Boondock Saints)
posted by gwe 7:37 PM

 
Conner MacManus: We haven't really figured out a system to decide who.
Rocco: Me! I'm the guy! I know everyone! I know their habits, who they hang out with! I got phone numbers, addresses! I know who they're fucking, I know where they live! We could kill EVERYONE.
Murphy MacManus: So what do you think?
Conner MacManus: I'm strangely comfortable with it.

posted by gwe 7:36 PM

Wednesday, July 17, 2002

 
*Now you will receive us
We do not ask for your poor and your hungry
We do not want your tired and sick
It is your corrupt we claim
It is your evil that will be sought by us
With every breath we shall hunt them down
Each day we will spill their blood
Till it rains down from the skies
Do not kill, do no steal
These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace
These are not polite suggestions! These are cores of behavior
and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost
There are varying degrees of evil
We urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over
Into the corruption, into our domain
For one day you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three,
And on that day you will reap it.
And we will send you to whatever god you wish.* (Boondock Saints: Man that movie is awesome! That's what they say at the end)

*I'm ready to get busy. I'm ready to get busy.* (Boondock Saints: when the credits are running)
posted by gwe 1:56 PM

 
*IT WASN'T ME!!!* (ROCKETMAN!!)
posted by gwe 1:33 PM

 
*I have respect for beer!* (John Nash A Beautiful Mind)

*Can I get somebody some soup?* (Agador- the Bridcage)

*The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return* (Moulin Rouge)

*I want you to make me feel goood* (Monster's Ball)

*The Show must go on* (Moulin Rouge)

*Isn't it funny, this feeling inside* (Moulin Rouge)

*Now wobble-wobble, and drop it like it's hot* (Big Moma's House)

*My nigga* (Training Day)

*I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at your face, I wanna throw up!* (Stand by Me)

*We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams* (Willy wonka)


posted by gwe 1:17 PM

 
Shepards we shall be for Thee my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand. So swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow forth a river forth to Thee, teeming with souls shall it be. E nomini Patri, Fili, spiritu Sancti --Boondock saints
posted by gwe 12:51 PM

Monday, June 10, 2002

 
It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it, right? And this bag was like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in. [(AMERICAN BEAUTY) yes yes yes you know that movie.. let me tell you let me tell you... yes yes yes allright I'll stop now]
posted by gwe 9:11 PM

 
* The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he didn't exist * (Verbal Kent (Kaiser Schosze) The Usual Suspects)

* God I haven't been fucked like that since grade school * (Marla- Fight Club)

*Now watch me faggot* (Blaazing Saddles)

*You want to marry him and have like ten-thousand of his babies!* (American Beauty)

*I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot!* (that's me in a nutshell) (Bring it on)

posted by gwe 8:40 PM